Reader Melissa did what all of you should be doing. She sent me a topic to write about, thus making my life easier and your life more enjoyable. Charles Atlas is a fake dude who has a real hate for skinny dudes. Technically, he is a real person with a fake name. Born Angelo Siciliano, he rejected his wonderfully skinny physique and embraced that of the stronger variety. He is touted as the "World's most perfectly developed man":
I am taking this opportunity to declare him the "World's most skinny-racist, jerk". While I'm at it - I'd also like to declare him a "lying-ass-assface" - because in my 5 minutes of feverish google searching, i've yet to find a photo of Charles Atlas in his "97 pound weakling" days. Charles Atlas is a dick. Scheming poor, wonderfully-skinny, nerdy children out of their hard earned milk money for nearly four decades. SURE, you inspired a bunch of quirky song references, but at what cost, Charles Atlas. At. What. Cost?
To be fair, Charles Atlas did look pretty hot before he totally died.
But he obviously would have been way hotter if he would have remained skinny. And chest hairless. And young. And alive.
Wanna know more about this fool? Of course you don't. But in case you do, here
Posts
