Reader Melissa did what all of you should be doing. She sent me a topic to write about, thus making my life easier and your life more enjoyable. Charles Atlas is a fake dude who has a real hate for skinny dudes. Technically, he is a real person with a fake name. Born Angelo Siciliano, he rejected his wonderfully skinny physique and embraced that of the stronger variety. He is touted as the "World's most perfectly developed man":
I am taking this opportunity to declare him the "World's most skinny-racist, jerk". While I'm at it - I'd also like to declare him a "lying-ass-assface" - because in my 5 minutes of feverish google searching, i've yet to find a photo of Charles Atlas in his "97 pound weakling" days. Charles Atlas is a dick. Scheming poor, wonderfully-skinny, nerdy children out of their hard earned milk money for nearly four decades. SURE, you inspired a bunch of quirky song references, but at what cost, Charles Atlas. At. What. Cost?
To be fair, Charles Atlas did look pretty hot before he totally died.
But he obviously would have been way hotter if he would have remained skinny. And chest hairless. And young. And alive.
Wanna know more about this fool? Of course you don't. But in case you do, here
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3 comments:
A textbook example of the outward manifestation of hidden insecurities. AKA Douchebag.
"HEY SKINNY" IS A TRADEMARK OF CHARLES ATLAS, LTD. WWW.CHARLESATLAS.COM
ALSO YOU CAN SEE A PHOTO OF MR. ATLAS WHEN HE WAS SKINNY ON THE WEBSITE AT http://www.charlesatlas.com/about.html. MR. ATLAS WAS A GREAT MAN THAT HELPED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE GET FIT. HIS SKINNY SELF WAS SO WEAK THAT HE GOT PICKED ON AND BEAT UP SO MUCH THAT HE GOT FED UP WITH IT AND DECIDED TO BUILD HIMSELF UP. SOME PEOPLE LIKE BEING SKINNY, BUT THE ONES THAT DON'T HAVE AN OPTION WITH MR. ATLAS PROGRAM OF HEALTH AND EXERCISE. HE WANTED TO HELP GET PEOPLE HEALTHY. HE DIDN'T HOLD ANYTHING AGAINST ANYONE THAT WANTED TO STAY THIN, THAT WAS THEIR CHOICE.
Charles Atlas is a true hero. he had many famous pupils, including Olympic champions and Mr. Universe & Mr. Olympia winners who were inspired to go on to great things. He also saved several people from drowning, gave more money away to charity than any other celebrity of his time.
If you are determined to poke fun at a true legend, then show us what good you have done to inspire and help others. In fact, I'll send you a copy of my new biography on Atlas when I'm done.
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